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rain down on me.

Xiao Wei

xiao wei aka weii
currently 20
loves bai bai!

break the silence


Falling For You


long gone


Sunday, November 14, 2010

sometimes i reali hate to b sick.
being sick will showcase the weaker side of me.
shows how vulnerable i am.
and usually in times of tis, i may become kinda emo.
sometimes i wish i could have someone to take care of mi.
enduring through the times when i m very sick is very tough.
and tis sem i kept falling sick.
maybe cos there r too mani work to do.
and so i did not have enough slp.
my body is getting weaker.
and exams r coming soon.
i hope to recover soon.
but still, sometimes i will feel better with my frens' concern.
to me, frenz are still more impt.
all the best to all my frenz who r studying currently for the upcoming exams.

rained @ 3:08 AM

Friday, November 05, 2010

blogging as a way of expressing my emotions?
i'm like super busy now.
rushing through a report now that has to be sent to my other project mates by 3am.
but im just too tired & shag.
i just cant think.
im brain dead.
having writer block.

i have been super busy since the start of the sem i think.
tis sem is really my busiest sem so far.
previously, i could still slack around & do alot of my personal stuff.
but tis sem, i dont seem to have so much free time.
previously, i may be busy for a period of time.
after tad i could slack den busy for another period of time.
but tis sem is totally different.
whole sem is busy.
the work just kept coming in.
and the work tis sem r all kinda difficult.
cannot be completed very fast.

life is realli unfair uh.
not tad i wan to complain or smth.
but like wad one of my fren said,
"it sucks to get a lousy grade when u have put in a considerable time & effort into it"
if tad's d case, den y would we still wan to put so much effort & time.
we could have just anyhow complete it & tad's it.
in d end, we may even end up getting the same grade rite?
it's not abt being competitive or smth.
sometimes i juz felt a little disappointed.
or maybe upset with myself.
just totally hate the kind of feeling of getting a lousy grade when u indeed have put your time & effort into it.
for wad.
though quite a no. of ppl said, "the no. of As or your cap doesnt realli determine your future directions" or that "it doesnt realli matter how mani As u got or how high your cap is because the employers may not care".
isit realli true?
why would so mani ppl still fighting for the As and cap then?
why then would we need to study in the first place?
LOL. if only there r no exams.
we just need to study. but no exams.
how nice it will b rite.
disappointment. upset.
but there's nth much i can do.
sometimes i realli just feel like giving up.
though sometimes i do tell myself not to give up as there may still be certain chance, i just cant do it.
no motivation or wadever i guess.
or tad im just tired.
after so mani yrs of education.
im just tired.
i juz wan to quit studying soon.
but when u think abt work, u may wan to continue studying.
wad an irony.
mixed feelings again.
tough decision again.

im done ranting i guess.
back to my report.
sian ttm.

rained @ 1:10 AM

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

i haven been updating for more than 2 mths!
aniway, im back from hk!
it has been a realli reali fun & fruitful 6 wks summer prog in hk.
i realli miss hk alot!
i've made alot of new frenz be it they're from singapore, hk or even other countries like the US.
i've realli made full use of my time in hk.
i play everyday. go out everyday. eat nice food everyday. shop everyday.
i explored lots of different parts in hk.
it's realli fun!
i love it!
cheap shopping, great company, delicious food!
everything is just so nice & perfect.
i dont have to care abt anything in sg.
wadever happened doesnt affect mi much.
i live a life on my own.
just myself.
an independent life.
but i do enjoy it.
it's realli a super carefree life in hk.
i reali dont regret coming to hk.
in fact, i wish i could stay longer in hk.
i miss the hostel life.
i can visit my frenz everyday.
chit chat in their room everyday till late.
it's just so fun.
we took lots of nice photos tgt.
explore hk tgt.
conversed with the locals using my lousy canto.
or conversed with my frenz in other languages like mandarin, english, hokkien, bahasa indo, malay.
i buy things without much consideration.
i play like crazy.
i watch hk drama on tvb.com.
i saw hk artistes.
i tried alot of new stuff in hk. stuff tad cant b found in sg.
lots of different modes of public transportation in hk.
electric tram, mtr, mini bus, city bus, light rail, ferry.
it's just too fun.
everything can be conveyed through my photos i guess.
my photos r like the trails i've left in hk.
i realli realli realli miss hk alot.
i wish im in hk now.
so happy & carefree.
the lessons i took in hk r so slack.
i dont have to spend too much time studying.
i love it.
FRIENDSHIP is my biggest gain.

sometimes, i do miss him.
thinking of the things tad happened between both of us.
though it's nth much actually.
how we actually met.
how we actually became frenz.
how we feel towards each other.
im always wondering wad will exactly happen to us if i were to stay longer in hk.
wad will happen if one of us take the initiative.
wad will happen if it realli started.
wad will happen to our future.
i always wonder.
though i noe i will nv be able to get any answer out of it.
a perfect phrase for us - you yuan wu fen.
it's all fated i guess.
tad's our fate. & i have to accept it.
or rather i have alr accepted it.
actually i knew from the start tad nth is going to come out from it.
but i still jumped into it.
it's a nice experience though.
i shall & will always rmb him.
a unique experience for me.
i miss him but nobody's taking any initiative now.
i noe i shouldnt.
tad's y i didnt.
other frenz have been telling mi to do so.
i want to.
but my rational mind tells mi not to.
i shld just stop.
everything has stopped ever since i left hk.
wadever happened in hk shall stay in hk.
it shouldnt be brought over to sg.
everything has ended the moment i stepped into the departure gate.
and tad's it.
i shall & will give up.
but the memories will forever be part of me.
lastly, i miss you alot alot.

rained @ 1:13 AM

Friday, May 14, 2010

i am thinking of giving up tis blog.
it's so dead now.
cos i seldom update.
and why dont i update frequently?
1 word ans: LAZY!!!!
i'm just plain lazy to update my blog.
i can do alot of things other than updating my blog.
i'm just lazy to type chunks and chunks of words.
okay, u may say tad i can just upload my photos rite?
but i dont find the need to. and i think it's rather pointless.
cos i upload all my photos on fb.
why do i have to upload my photos again?

kinda troublesome & waste of time?
or u also can say tad i'm lazy. LOL!
in any case, i'm realli too lazy to update my blog regularly.
sometimes i update is cos i suddenly have d urge to do so.
otherwise, i would not update at all.
and such urge dont come tad often.
so i MAY give up tis blog.
i shall see how things go den.
maybe i will update my blog when i'm in hk?

when u're out of sg, u may tend to develop more emotions?
and when tis happens, either u tell someone or u will write it down somewhere i supposed.
or i may wan to blog abt the happy things that happen in hk?
i'm kinda looking forward to the hk trip.
but i'm also kinda worried abt it.
going overseas for 6 wks is a totally new experience.
and hk is such a fun place cos i've been to hk before.

i have to be in a foreign place for 6 wks.
it's 6 WKS!
more than a month.
imagine i have to do everything by myself.
i have to take care of myself.
and being in a foreign place, i may tend to worry alot.
cos nobody will noe wad's going to happen.
and i'm worried tad i cant get used to.
if tis realli happens, i cant come back to sg.
i have to force myself to stay in hk.
den it wont be fun animore.

oh well, let nature takes its course i guess.
there's nth i can do actually.
d onli thing i can do is to get myself prepared mentally.
that's why.
aniway, i'm going there with my fren.
so i shldnt worry that much.
i'm sure my fren & I will enjoy ourselves tgt! =D
tomato head & potato!!!

rained @ 1:58 AM

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

it's been more than 1 mth since i last updated.
it's been a realli busy term for me.
with lots of work as usual.
tests, assignments, projects.
tis term is kinda challenging cos i have to do design-related stuff.
for those who realli noe mi, will noe y it's a challenge.
cos i'm kinda bad at art.
super bad at drawing.
can come out with ideas but definitely very bad at presenting d ideas.
oh well.
but it's coming to an end soon.
i'm doing quite okay i guess.
at least i'm satisfied with my works so far.

now doing a major part.
totally feel like giving up.
no more strength to continue.
i need more strength and motivation.
i'm so afraid of not being able to meet my ultimate goal.
and tis goal hasnt been much of an obstacle for me.
i had no problem achieving tad goal previously.
but i have to say i'm having problems now.
where has tad old me gone to??

and these few days alot of things happened.
things tad r totally unexpected & unbelievable.
till now, whenever i tot of it, i still cant believe tad actually happened on me.
smth muz be super super wrong with mi tad nite.
9th april, fri nite will be a super "memorable" nite for me in my lifetime.
and i shall not let tad happen to me again unless i realli super upset?
do not try to guess wad happened to me.
cos i think most ppl would not be able to guess it correctly.
and i dont realli wan to talk abt it animore.
wad happened during tad nite at tad particular place shall remain there.
i realli hate myself.
sometimes, i realli hate myself.

on a happier note,
i will be going to HK for 6 wks during my summer hols.
totally cant wait.
but i'm alr having some complicated feelings.
i do wan to go hk alot.
can shop & play till mad.
but i have to stay out away from home for 6 wks.
i dunno if i can adapt.
imagine i have to cook my own food, wash my own clothes, do my own cleaning.
i do tidy my own stuff but not all these cleaning & washing at home.
i think i will miss my mum alot.
and my irritating bro & dad.
and not forgetting, my BAI BAI!
i so wan to bring my bb over to hk. HAHA!

it's getting late.
i'm going to slp soon.
hopefully i can wake up earlier to start my work.
i always tend to slp till very late when i have no sch.
and my very late is realli very late to most ppl.
i will wake up at around 2plus?
hopefully i can be more diligent from now on.
exactly 2 wks & 1 more day, everything will be over.
in another words, my exams would have ended & the term is officially over.
i would not be yr 2 animore.
time realli flies.
cant believe i'm going to become undergraduate yr 3.
and very soon, i'll be moving on to the workforce.
lots of sian-ness.
nite nite!

rained @ 3:54 AM

Sunday, February 28, 2010

haven been updating my blog.
cos too busy with sch work.
lots of assignments, projects and other work.
last fri just handed in 2 assignments.
and last thurs i had a presentation.
super busy wk.
have to prepare for presentation and the 2 assignments.
not forgetting mid-terms.
before tad, busy with cny.
need shop for cny stuff.
den lots of cny gathering.

so i think i'm super slack during the recess wk.
went out alot of times.
when i stayed at home and try to study, i couldnt study much too.
too distracted.
i dont like to study during cny period.
super sian feeling.
so i wasted alot of my time.
so i have to chiong my assignments and projects.
now have to chiong my readings.
super super super lag behind.
all the best to me.
and still got lots of work waiting for mi!

and today i watched titanic cos it was showed on channel.
not tad i nv watch before, but i just feel like watching.
cos it's just so nice and touching.
titanic is just so heart-wrenching.
no matter how mani times i've watched before.
when i was watching it today, i kept thinking...
"such thing realli happened before. it's just so unbelievable.
i realli cant imagine. super sad tad so mani ppl died."

enough of tad.
on a happier note, let's talk abt cny.
how's your cny tis yr??
before cny, i dont realli have d cny mood.
previously, i would be so excited.
but tis yr, i wasnt.
but when cny realli came, d mood is back again.
how great.
it's still abt d same as all the other yr previously.
nth much.
visiting houses and getting angbaos.
but the no. of angbaos seem to be getting lesser.
tis yr i took alot of photos. a greater achievement.
hahaha. took with all my cousins.

and i realised smth when i saw d photos on fb taken by others.
other ppl may have family photos.
group family photos.
or photos taken with all the uncles & aunties.
but i dont have.
the older ppl in my family dont seem to like to take photo???
or isit cos nobody initiate?
if i were to initiate, would they reject??
i noe my mum certainly would.
always reject taking photos.
have to force her de.
a few of my younger cousins also dont like to take photos.
den have to force them too.
if not, u would have seen some backview photos in my fb.

taking photos is gd wad.
should take all the good memories so tad we can reminisce next time.
and i watched little big soldier on 1st day of cny.
not a very gd movie.
i fell asleep for a while.
maybe cos i was too tired.
out d whole day from morning till midnite.

2nd day went visiting again.
cassie didnt go!
but was okay la.
not tad boring as i tot.
at least i did talk to ah turn.
long car journey to pasir ris.
den even went to the lorong temple.
in d end, too mani ppl were there.
so didnt pray in the formal way.
den went all d way back to woodlands.
some ppl werent there.
so kinda quiet.
luckily got tis cousin whom i can get along with.
and he starting showing mi his chivas collection.
he even wanted to open the chivas 21 specially for mi to drink.
but i rejected cos it's still in d day & i'm going out after tad so cannot drink alot.
in d end, we drank black label.
and he gave mi d whole bottle.

talking abt alcohol, tis yr i drank alot.
1st day of cny, i drak fruit wine & red wine after dinner.
den when i was with my cousin, i drank black label mixed with beer.
i even drank taiwan "gao liang jiu".
i drank a little onli. cos i wanted to try.
i heard tad it's kinda strong.
and it's indeed quite strong.
i also drank s'pore sling.
and it tasted like some sweet medicine.

after tad, met up with des at yew tee.
den drove to clementi to pick jason up.
from there, he requested mi to drive his car.
so i drove.
drove to tiong bahru to meet ernest to watch movie.
his car is realli kinda nice to drive.
firstly, definitely has more power than my car.
2ndly, d steering wheel is damn light.
initially, i was kinda worried cos i nv drive his car before.
but due to my experiences of driving different cars before, i get my hands on it quite fast i guess.
not tad i've super long experience (1yr+ onli), but i drove different cars before.
cos i like to try new stuff.
my greatest achievement is tad i drove a BMW before!
though it's just a veri short distance.

and tad day was d first time i drove wearing high heels.
usually, i will drive with slippers and change into my heels after i've arrived at my destination.
and i not used to driving bare-footed.
so tis time i drove with my heels.
i have to say tad i've rather gd control cos sometimes it may not be easy to control your amount of force esp. if the shoes have a very thick base.
tad's y when u're learning to drive, most instructors would recommend to wear shoes with very thin base.

aniway, we went to watch vday.
super nice movie!
i enjoyed it.
but there's tis girl sitting behind mi kicking my chair.
super irritating.
i even "oi" her but she still continue to kick my chair.
so irritating.
sometimes, i wish i can be like my fren.
i have tis guy fren who's veri direct.
he told mi tad if someone was to kick his chair, he would definitely turn back & asked d person not to kick his chair animore.
if d person stops, everything's fine.
if d person doesnt, he would dare to scold d person.
but i just dont have d courage.
i'm such a timid person.

after movie, went for supper at bukit timah kap.
and home sweet home.
another long day.
tiring yet fun! =D

had steamboat with bizcom on thurs.
d steamboat was not too bad.
d food is kinda nice.
and we ordered alot of rounds of food.
and d food finished damn fast.
maybe cos alot of guys.
5 guys, 2 girls.
and d guys all can eat alot.
after tad, went to chill at starbucks.
hahaha. wanted to blue jazz.
but it was closed.
so went starbucks.

sat was a super busy day.
went to bai nian with 4/5.
first we went to desmond's hse.
den went to jason's hse.
followed by ernest's hse.
around 7, i had to leave for my family gathering for ah ma's bdae.
so went back to bp.
after dinner, went to cwp to meet 2/8 for movie.
travel to so mani places within just 1 day.
but it was fun.

bai nian so means gambling time too.
somehow i dont have any luck.
initially, i was winning.
i won abt 2bucks i think.
cos i play very small.
after tad, i kept losing.
so i stopped playing.
no luck esp. since sl was the banker.
he always win our money de.
so when i played with him being d banker, i would play very small.
but if it's other ppl, i dont mind playing with bigger bets.
but it was fun.
cos everyone was playing against him.
did alot of funni stunts so as to prevent him from winning too much.

when we went ernest's hse, we went for dinner first.
den they started playing mahjong.
but i had to leave, so i didnt play.
i dont have mahjong luck too.
family gathering was great with lots of nice food.
we even "lau yu sheng".
i just lau-ed. i didnt eat cos i dont realli like.
web-camed with kor kor too.
but i left in quite a rush.
cos i have to reach cwp by 9.15.
watched percy jackson.
jason told mi it was a super bad movie.
he described till it was a super super super bad movie.
but i dont think it's tad bad.
some parts were funni.
and i think tad d male lead was not bad looking. hahahah!

time check: 4.20 am
i have to go back studying for a little more before i can go to slp.
will update soon.
things to do:
2 projects
2 midterms
assignments (i have no idea how mani, definitely more than 1)
readings for 5 mods (think every mods readings r at wk 1/2)
and tis wk is wk 6.
it's going to be wk 7 soon.
i shld stop slacking!

rained @ 3:39 AM

Sunday, January 17, 2010

first wk of this sem has passed.
but it has been a happening wk i guess.
went out with my bestie (JL) on wed for lunch.
went to sg flyer for popeye's den to udders.
nice time spent tgt.
within just 3 hrs, we took 120 pics!
hahahaha. how pro rite.
i wanted to upload on thurs nite.
but i was too tired on thurs.
so i didnt manage to upload.

on fri nite, went out to supper with my sec sch frenz.
damn long nv see them alr.
and most of them r botak now!
hahhaha. totally not used to it.
but i will get used to it soon.
as usual, guys like to talk abt their ns stuff.
but jeenson wasnt on their side.
he's more on mi & vien's side.
cos he didnt go through wadever d other guys did.
nice food, nice company, nice catching up.

sat nite.
went old sch timbre with S11.
mr fong went too!
super long nv see my fong alr.
had a super nice chat with him.
and the rest of the class too.
cos past few outings i didnt manage to go.
so tis time realli catched up with alot of them.
cos i haven seen them for more than 1 yr?
but i didnt stayed for long.
i went there for abt 1hr plus.
den i went off to meet 2/8 ppl.

went dempsey with the 2/8 ppl.
went wine company.
drank a rather nice red wine.
it was quite strong.
though i drive, i still drank.
hang around there till 12plus.
den went to bukit timah.
on d way, i saw road block.
i was like shit.
but luckily, they didnt stop my car.
cos it was still quite early i think.
there was still quite some traffic.
so they just let all the cars go.

den went bukit timah for supper.
hang around there & chit chat.
after tad, sent brandon & norvin home.
den went vien's hse.
and we 2 stayed in my car to chit chat.
we talked abt 1hr plus.
had a realli nice chat.
cos some stuff cannot mentioned in front of the guys.

i didnt wan to update at tis hr.
time check: 5.32 am.
but i want to say smth very badly.
so i decided to come here.
i saw someone at the supper place tgt.
such a small world.
and when i saw tad person, i immediately called sarah!
hahhhaa. super excited to tell her abt it.
first wk of the sch has passed, but i didnt see tad person in sch.
yet i saw tad person today.
so does it still consider fate?
though i dunno the person, the person dunno me too, i think both of us deep down in the heart noe who we are.
but we dont realli noe each other.
so when i walked passed the person, we looked at each other but we didnt say anything or express anything.
we just merely looked.
tad's all.
no smile, nth at all.
i have to say i'm realli realli shocked.
cos i didnt see the person outside of sch before.
not even once.
tis is the first time after so long.
and tis sem, somehow, i didnt see d person in sch too.
previously, i saw the person in sch quite often.
so fated or not fated???
just some random thoughts.
i'm not trying to imply anything.
i also dont mean anything.
so dont think too much.
oh well, mr fate? LOL!
who cares rite.
i'm off to slp now.

rained @ 5:23 AM