today veri boring.
first day of sch after common tests den got hm work le.
sian. sian. sian.
after sch went ps to have lunch.
ate at ljs.
after tad, i headed hm.
on d bus, i saw a hci guy.
ok. veri random.
no link also.

came hm den start doing hm work.
have to research.
and i noe it will take quite some time.



today on my way hm, i think abt alot of things.
it's a veri veri terrible feeling.
a feeling which comes when i have to do smth i hate.
imagine u have to do smth u realli realli detest.
it's such a terrible feeling.
my heart tells mi not to do it.
but my mind tells mi i have to.
i have no choice.
1 tells mi dun do it.
d other tells mi to do it.
complicated feeling.
terrible feeling.
my heart hurts.

i hate tis kind of feeling.
when can i ever stop doing things i dun like?
why muz i torture myself for no reason.
if onli i make d right choice in d first place.
if onli i'm a veri capable person.
if onli i'm a veri smart person.
den i believe all these wouldn't have happened.
i wouldn't be hurting myself.
i wouldn't be having tis terrrible feeling.
i wouldn't be in such a dilemma.

all i can say now is nth.
there's nth i can sae now.
d choice is made by mi.
d path is decided by mi.
since i've created all tis, den i shld accept it.
but i juz couldn't.
my heart realli realli hurts.
i juz hate to do things i don't like.
i hate my life now.
i wish tis yr can faster end.
i wish next yr can faster end.
i wish there's another turning point in my life.

1st turning point- PSLE.
2nd turning point- 'O' levels.
3rd turning point- 'A' levels.
if i wish to put a stop to my life, d onli choice is to wait for my turning point.
for every turning point, there's bound to be changes in my life.
and as time passes, i believe i can make wise decisions for myself.
i will never want to have ani more regrets in my life.
i wan my life to b smooth.
i wan to enjoy my life.
tad's all i hope for.

rained @ 6:13 PM