thurs.
my first day of work.
i went in late.
cos i had driving in d morning.
d instructor today was okay.
also talked alot of crap to mi.
and he likes to say alot of reasoned stuff to mi.
rather boring.

and smth cropped up during driving.
i dunno y my throat suddenly got very itchy.
and i kept coughing non-stop.
i tried to control it.
but cannot.
my throat hurts even more.
and my eyes turn watery.
luckily d instructor is nice.
he stopped mi half way by d roadside.
and let mi drink water.
if not i think i'll juz die la.

my first day of job was okay.
juz tad d topic i was assigned to is boring.
it's about circles and graphs.
drawing of graphs is so sian la.
but wad to do. no choice.
intially everything was okay.
until yl told mi smth.
i totally changed.
affected my mood to the max.
damn f* up.
i can't control my feelings.
everything is affected.

and i called angelyn to tell her.
she explained alot of stuff to mi.
but i juz cannot accept it.
i juz feel tad wad she did was wrong.
i'm juz being cheated.
and i realli hate it.
i got so emo la.
cos of smth not worth it.
everything is juz so wrong.

and i called H around midnight.
juz wanna talk to him.
cos i'm not happi abt it.
talked to my gd brother abt it.
but still, i felt CHEATED.
cheated is a very bad feeling.
i hate ppl who cheat mi.

obviously, she's keeping smth from mi.
if not, y she dont wan talk to mi on d phone tad day.
y she sms mi in d evening?
y she told mi tad so late?
muz be cos she's feeling guilty.
tad's y she sms mi.
if not, i doubt she'll ever tell mi.
unless one day, i suddenly found out abt it.
so mani yrs of friendship.
juz cos of someone whom she knew less than a month?
everything's just so wrong.

when i called H and he said he's with his gang.
i was like 'okay. bye bye.'
and S called mi.
but i dont wanna pick up.
the phone kept ringing.
and i refused to pick up.
and my heart just got so hurt.
i dunno why.
felt like my heart is breaking.

i hate ppl who cheat mi.
tears filled my eyes.
i dunno why either.
and unknowing, tears rolled down my cheeks.
and i cried.
i hate it. I HATE IT.
my gd bro is rite.
is not worth it.
but y am i reacting in such a way?

i dunno.
i just felt very hurt.
very very very hurt.
i hate myself for having such an reaction.
but wad can i do?
it's uncontrollable.

after tad, H called mi.
i was pondering whether to pick up anot.
cos i'm afraid tad it might be S who is calling mi.
so i chose not to pick up.
when it stopped ringing, i felt relieved.
but soon, it started ringing again.
tis time was my cousin.
and i didn't pick up too.
though i wanted to pick up very much.
cos i wanted to noe wad's going on.

after tad, i use my hse phone to call my cousin back.
a very smart move of mi.
and they juz said they wanted to ask mi out.
to chat with mi and all.
but it's alreadi 1am leh.
and tml i'm working.
and y would they suddenly wan to talk to mi?
i dunno.
i juz said i need to slp soon cos tml still got work.
and i went to slp feeling very uneasy.

on fri, work is still as boring.
but wad to do.
luckily yl is sitting beside mi.
unlike jason, who is sitting beside the supervisor.
so he can't talk to anione.
but mi and yl can talk to each other.
so smth it wont be tad boring.
cos we will talk crap to each other.

and lunch is fixed for 3 of us.
we sure go for early lunch break.
and after break, we'll go to our usual hangout place.
it's d minimart.
where they will buy tidbits back.
d 2 jokers will always say veri funni stuff.
and they suan mi everyday without fail.
luckily, i'm nice to let them suan.
if it's other girls, i guess they'll got real fed up.

today after work, took bus 183 out.
cos yl wanted to look at bikes.
and when we alighted and reached d shop, he jus peeped in from outside.
and he says he's done looking at them.
mi and jason were like wth.
he could juz look at d bikes from the bus.
make us go all d way there for juz a short while.
after tad, i got my dad's fren to come pick us up.
while waiting, we found tis very nice shop selling nasi lemak.
and i think it's d shop grace told mi abt mi.
tv even recommended tad shop.
so 3 of us bought food back home.


on sat, i had to go for NTU interview.
my mum drove mi there.
and i tot i was all alone till tze came to approach mi.
and i saw a few saints there too.
den had to go for some admission test.
and i saw audrey there.
she was alone too.
so we decided to hang out together.
after d test, went to toilet and had lunch together.

after tad, we had to go out separate ways to our holding room.
when i reached d room, i saw her there again.
so i went to sit with her.
she was saying tad she's lucky to see mi there.
and i felt d same way too.
imagine if she wasn't there, wouldn't i be all alone by myself?
it's rather sad.
and d interview made mi so nervous yet there's no one to accompany mi.
tad's even more sad la.
so we both were quite grateful.
and it's a long wait for both of us.
cos our interview time is at 3.30pm.
and we had to report at 12 for d test and all.

and it's a grp interview.
smth tad i dont like.
and when i got inside d room, i felt so zi bei.
cos all of em were like so pro and all.
after d test, i'm kinda disappointed alr.
and i had tis hunch tad i sure wont get in.
so i'm like alr giving up.
and when i see others had their own portfolio.
and some had backgrounds.
i felt even more zi bei.
i juz feel like going off la.

and i was veri quiet.
i didn't talk much.
jus sit down there and listen.
like some idiot la.
and i knew i sure wont pass one.
it's a total flop.
inside mi, when i felt like giving up,
it's realli like no hope for mi.
it's a lesson tad i've learnt.
maybe tad course isn't tad suitable for mi.

after tad, my mum came and fetch mi home.
reached home. changed out of my formal wear into casual wear.
pack all d stuff and all.
and i'm off again to meet bin at bugis.
we're going to cindy's bdae party at pasir ris.
and we veri funni la.
she told mi she's at d 3rd door.
so when d train came, i boarded.
but i didn't see her and i was afraid tad i boarded d wrong train.

so i called her to ask her where she is.
meanwhile, i'm like looking everywhere for her.
den i noticed tis not bad looking guy looking at mi.
den i was wondering why.
but i ignored him.
still trying to look for bin.
when i look at d guy again, he pointed at someone.
so i went over to see and it's realli bin.
so funni la.
d guy muz be thinking we're jokes.
she actually sitting down but was being blocked.
so i didn't manage to see her.
thanks to the guy. =)

after tad, we made our way to pasir ris.
and we were veri hungry.
both of us didnt realli eat our lunch.
wanted to take d shuttle bus.
but we waited for quite some time but d bus nv come.
so we decided to go take public bus.
and we were too hungry.
so we shared a packet of fries from mac and eat on our way there.

and it's so unlucky tad cindy's chalet was very inside.
so we had to walk a long way to her chalet.
and when we reached there, we eat first.
we ate 3 rounds. haha.
d food was quite nice.
and we were damn full.
initially, it's very boring.
den we took photos ourselves.
saw lynn and chris too.

very boring cos 2 of us onli.
we dunno any other ppl there except for samsung ppl.
so we were quite sian.
walked from 1 unit to d one besides it.
walk here walk there.
dunno wad to do.
took photos randomly too.
in d later part, it got kinda interesting.

cos we were discussing abt guys.
haha. we're not despo ah.
we're juz talking abt their looks and all.
and because of tad topic, it got kinda interesting.
cos we'll do some funni stuff.
haha. it's quite fun la.
den cut d bdae cake.
after eating the cake, quite a number of ppl went off.
so mi and bin went off too.
long journey back home.
and 2 of us were very tired.

on sun. wanted to go back to office to find them.
in d end, jason suddenly said k box session cancelled.
so i didn't go to find them.
den they wanted to go watch movie - run papa
so we went to west mall.
den they say they wanted to go k box.
so we changed our plan to go to k box at jurong east.
sang from 3 to around 7 plus.
and i ate alot of snacks.
fries, nuggets, chips, tidbits, potato chips.
and we ordered alot of drinks.

it's so fun.
i like to go to k box.
after k box, went to poh kim to look at cds.
veri random. i noe. haha.
we like to do random stuff.
went k box with jason, xina, yongrong and meishi.
after tad, yr went off.
left 4 of us.
and xina suggested to do IMM.
my reaction was like 'oh shit'.
but i kinda expected it.

so went to IMM to shop around.
but there's nth much to shop la.
and jason kept mentioning d stupid shop name.
and i told him to stfu.
haha. and there's tis time we wanted to go toilet.
and will pass by it.
when i was nearing it, i saw smth.
and i immediately backed off.
i turned back and walked away.
xina and meishi was rather shocked.
and all jason said was she saw someone she hated.

and i guess i was lucky.
i walked past without being noticed.
so lucky.
den we went to garden plaza.
wanted to play some game.
but it was gone.
den we went to shop at Daiso.
haha. so funni la.
i bought a small box again.
everytime i go there, sure buy box one.
tad's d 4th box tad i bought.
all are of different sizes.

and we were very funni.
we wanted to buy d drinks there.
cos it's like so special.
and it wasn't tad ex.
den tried to pronounce d words.
but it turned out to be so funni.
and tad jason juz kept laughing non-stop.
den i said if there's a Japanese who heard mi saying all d words,
they might juz come and bash mi up.

after tad, xina and meishi bought some snacks.
and soon, it was alr 9 plus.
so we made our way back home.
it's an enjoyable day i guess.
though my throat tad day wasn't in a good condition.
muz be cos of d fried food tad i ate yesterday at d party.
but i do enjoy myself.

rained @ 2:59 PM