yesterday was the first day of sch.
lect at 6 and it ends at 7.
how early.
but it's kinda expected.
cos it's d first lect and it's just an introductory lect.
so far, it looks okay to mi.
just tad it looks kinda tough.
and there seems to be alot of assignments.
all the best to mi.
abt 4 more months to the next holidays.
i'll be looking forward to tad.

next holidays.
some have started looking for jobs i guess.
i still haven decide.
shld i work or just slack around?
hahaha.
and there's no lect later today.
which means i can slack at home.
AGAIN??!!!
sometimes, i realli realli do hate my current life.



emo post now.
smth i dont realli like to write.
but i just feel like writing...
aniway. i'm feeling more and more depressed each day.
someone saved mi pls.
i cant help thinking abt my choices.
i can't stop my mind from thinking abt d wrong stuff i've done.
and once i think abt it, it'll just make mi sad.
i've alr tried my best to control.
but i just can't.
my mind just somehow will think abt it.
i can't control my mind anymore.

i keep thinking and thinking abt it.
i noe d solutions.
i noe i shldn't think abt it.
i noe i shld just try harder next time.
i noe i shld just accept it and try to make myself like it.
i noe. i noe. i noe. i just noe.
but i can't make myself do it.
i just can't.
i feel so helpless.
knowing wad i shld do yet i can't do.
it's a lost and helpless feeling.
i need help.

sometimes i love it.
sometimes i hate it.
it's a love-hate relationship with my current life.
and tis kind of love-hate relationship is just d worst.
it's making my life even worse.
it's making mi suffer even more.
love it cos i used to enjoy tis kind of life.
love it cos i love to do tis kind of stuff.
love it cos i love it.

hate it cos it's making mi worse.
hate it cos i felt so useless.
hate it cos my life is worse with it around.
hate it cos i'll have no motivation.
hate it cos i hate it.
when can i ever get myself out of tis complicated situation?
when can i ever get over it?
when can i stop thinking abt it?
when can i stop suffering?
when can i be happier?
when can i start liking my life?
when can i? when can i? when can i?

it's such a shiitty life.
thinking more and more abt it is just making it worse.
making mi more and more and more sad.
making mi more and more and more depress.
i dont feel like carrying on.
i have no motivation.
i have nth to push mi on.
i lost my motivation.
i lost my morale.
i lost my targets.
i lost part of my life.
i lost myself.
i lost everything.
i just feel like giving up.
i just feel like stopping here.
i just feel like not doing anything now.

i have no goals.
i have no targets.
i have no motivation.
i have no morale.
i have nothing.
i've lost my best.
i've lost the best part of myself.
i've lost the best part of life.
i've lost all the good stuff.
i'm onli left with d bad stuff now.
why why why why why????
where's all my good stuff?
i wan them back.

how i wish i can go back to the past.
go back to d past and change everything.
and things wouldn't be like tis now.
things would be better i guess.
i hate regrets.
realli realli realli hate regrets.
there's just too mani regrets in my life.
regret for doing wrong stuff.
regret for saying wrong stuff.
regret for making wrong choices.
regret to some ppl.
regret to some stuff.
regret to my life.

without all these regrets,
would my life be better now?
or would it be worse?
i wan to go back to last year.
june 2008.
i wan go back to tad month of tad year.
so tad i can change my choice.
and i wouldn't be like tis now.
JUNE 2008!!!!
i wan u back in my life.....

rained @ 1:55 AM