song i'm listening now....
all about you by mcfly.
used to love tis song alot.
kinda catchy in a way.
veri long nv listen to it alr.
and now, i'm listening to it.
and i still love it.

aniway, tis is not my point.
i wanna talk abt some other stuff.
after so long, i've tot i could stop brooding over it.
i've tot i've gotten over it.
but in fact, i didn't and i havent.
when i dont think abt it, it's okay.
but sometimes when i see things related to it, i'll just keep thinking it.
it refers to wkwsci.
one of d gd choices tad i chose to give up.
till now, i'm still not sure if i've made d right choice anot.

all i can and is sure to say is....
i've definitely regret giving up tad choice.
but if given another chance, would i choose to accept tis choice instead?
i myself also not sure.
though i've regret, there're still some stuff in nus tad makes my uni life better.
so i'm realli not sure if i would choose tad choice given another chance.
but i have to say tad course is realli gd.
i realli love it.
i realli wanted to get in and i did.
but in d end, i chose to give it up cos of nus.
i'm sorry but i have to say i realli dislike ntu campus.
maybe tis is one of d major reason tad makes mi reject it.
it may sound unconvincing.
but imagine u going to a sch u hate everyday,
would u enjoy? u wouldnt even wan to go to tad sch ba.

so i realli not sure.
but i realli love tad course.
y isn't tad course in nus.
y nus dont have a course tad is comparatively as gd as tad course.
wkwsci.
sometimes, i do think tad tis would be a better choice for me.
yet i chose to do things emotionally instead of rationally.
i chose nus cos i love nus & not of d course it offered to me.
rationally, i knew wkwsci might be a better choice.
i realli regret.
regret alot.

but i have to say it's realli tough for me.
tad period was a veri tough one for mi.
cos i have to make such important decisions for myself.
and d choices i had wasn't easy for mi to choose.
ntu wkwsci.
smu biz mgmt.
nus fass.
how to choose.
u tell mi.
if given another chance, i would still stuck in tad tough position.
with lots of dilemma.
i realli dunno how to choose.
nobody can help mi.
cos it's my own choice.

even my mum also dont wanna help mi.
but if she were to choose, she would choose ntu.
i still rmb.
tad time, i did a poll.
hahhaa.
i asked ppl around mi which choices shld i choose.
in d end, most chose smu.
2nd is ntu.
lastly is nus.
of cos la. nus course is fass leh.
who would wan to choose tad course.
but tad's my first choice.

i've gotten all my first choices.
i shld be happy.
but i'm not.
cos i'm stuck with d tough choices.
sometimes, i would realli rather i didn't get all my first choices.
if i didn't get my first choice, i would have an easier life.
i would noe wad to choose.
instead of kept thinking & thinking.
i love ntu course.
i love nus campus.
i love smu way of teaching & d new facilities.

i noe i shldn't keep thinking.
i noe i shld convince myself tad my choice is right.
but i just can't make myself do tad.
cos i'm not enjoying some of d mods tad i took.
i dunno how to convince myself.
i saw photos taken by one of my frenz who is in wkwsci.
it just tempts mi alot.
everytime i see her, she would remind mi of wkwsci.
luckily i dont have alot of frenz in wkwsci, if not i'll die.
hahaha.

i just hate myself.
hate myself for thinking so much.
hate myself for keep looking back.
hate myself for not being confident of my choice
hate myself for swaying between my decisions.
hate myself for having cognitive dissonance!
(cognitive dissonance is a term i've learned from my course. haha)


on a happier note,
i might be going overseas again!
yeah!!! cos d swine flu dont seem so serious now.
hopefully can go overseas.
going taiwan with frenz.
if cannot, i will be bored to death in sg.
hopefully swine flu situation will get better.
yellow light now.
turn to green light soon. haha.

rained @ 3:25 AM