tis wk is the reading week.
and my first paper is damn early.
21st.
which means i onli have abt 5 days from now.
god bless me.

like the previous 2 sems, i'm encountering the same problems again.
no mood to study.
somehow, i seem to lose all my studying spirit.
i can no longer study like how i used to in the past.
in the past, though i also wont have the studying mood, i will force myself.
somehow or another, i noe i have to do it.
and i will eventually do it.
but tis time, it's so so different.
i noe i have to do it.
but i just cant do it no matter how hard i force myself to.
totally no mood and no motivation.
and i hate myself for keep falling asleep while reading.
hahaha.
i just cannot help it.

i noe i'm so dead.
hopefully, i can find back my studying spirit.
maybe another thing is tad, i've lost all my morale.
i've lost all my targets and goals.
i cant seem to find any targets/goals for myself animore.
i dunno y.
i just keep telling myself tad "there're more things in tis world than just studying".
and i think tis statement realli influences mi alot?
i just find no point in studying?
and i just lost all my morale.
stupid statement.
i hate it.

in the past, i've nv had such low morale feeling.
to me, studying is not a problem at all.
my grades have been quite gd all d way.
well, except for some exceptional cases.
the only lousy grades i've gotten is J1.
the time when i played alot.
partly cos of sajc influence.
ppl just keep playing alot.
they onli study for promo.
so my grades totally suck for my common test.
promo wasnt veri ideal too.
it's onli started improving when i'm in j2.
and my grades just kept getting better and better.

but now, i dont have tad kind of confidence anymore.
i just feel tad i dont have the ability and energy to be able to do as well as before.
i have no idea why.
i just hope tis kind of feeling will go away soon.
cos it realli demoralises mi alot.
sometimes, i realli wonder alot.
is uni reali tad gd at all?
y so mani ppl wan to get into uni?
i dont quite understand.
and when ppl get into uni, they start complaining.
like totally wth rite?
for my case, it's different.
cos i'm from jc and i have to go uni.
i dont have a choice.

i totally have a super bad feeling tis time.
i have no idea why.
like just now when i'm studying, i will suddenly stop cos a bad feeling suddenly comes.
i wonder why.
tis bad feeling realli makes mi super worried.
i hope i wont do badly tis time.
i hope my instinct wont be accurate tis time.
i hope everything will go well for mi.
i haven been getting much good karma recently.
hahaha.
opps. =X
god bless mi.

rained @ 3:03 AM