before i wrote abt x'mas stuff.
just want to have a HTHT with my tis blog.
sometimes i feel really mad at myself.
for certain stuff of cos.
i'm mad at myself for my bad habits.
i'm mad at myself for the things i've done.
i'm mad at myself for not doing the things i'm supposed to.
i'm mad at myself for not getting the things i'm supposed to.
i'm mad at myself for making the wrong choice.
i'm mad at myself for being indecisive sometimes.
i'm mad at myself for all the regrets.
i'm mad at myself for regretting things.
i'm mad at myself for lots of things.
i'm mad at myself for not doings things i've promised myself.
i'm just mad at myself.
sometimes, i've realli feel like doing some things.
but when i'm in the process of doing, i feel like giving up.
i'm mad at myself for being like tis.
i'm mad at myself for being lazy.
i'm mad at myself for being such a slacker sometimes.
i'm mad at myself for not having any ambitions/goals.
i'm mad at myself for losing my fighting spirit that was once strong in me.
i'm mad at myself for thinking some things at the wrong point of time.
i'm mad at myself for being too sensitive sometimes.
i'm mad at myself for thinking too much.
there's just too many things.
i'm just mad at myself.
but i just can't change.
well, it's in borne. it's my character.
i just hope things will get better next yr.
tis yr is definitely not a gd yr for me.
just few more days to 2010.
i realli hoped it would be a better yr for me.


on a happier note, let's talk abt my x'mas celebration!
my first pre x'mas celebration was with ling's family.
went to ling's aunt hse.
had a great feast.
lots of food.
and we cant finish.
and we had x'mas gift exchange!
and i damn unlucky to get seng's present.
i was praying not to get his present.
haha.
but it waas fun.

next was schizo's turn.
went to k box in the afternoon for a singing session.
it was great.
2nd singing session we had.
with different people each time.
and i realised all these people can sing quite well.
so it means most of our schizo ppl can sing quite well.
i have nth more to say.
hahaha.
after tad, went for grocery shopping.
bought snacks & drinks back to justin's hse.

justin's hse is nice.
fully air conditioned.
damn clean and neat.
there's even a pool table.
oh. and a bar counter.
he even had mahjong table.
didnt went to the 2nd storey.
so dunno how it looks like.
but it was realli nice.
just tad the sofa abit hard.
hahaha.

played guitar hero.
bdae cake surprise for shawn.
x'mas gift exchange.
played cards.
played mahjong.
watched ice age 2.
drank a little martell.
i didnt get to play the pool.
and chit chat.
it was fun.
and we stayed in his hse till next day around 8am.
super shag when i reached home.
luckily i drove there.

and on x'mas eve.
went to watch avatar with bizcom peeps.
and faith just rushed off straight after the movie without saying anything.
oh well.
den d rest of us went to have lunch tgt.
den hasan drove all of us to the west side (clementi).
his parking cost was like $10!
damn ex.
tis is y i nv drive.
drove brent to vivo.
den went to clementi.
zy went off.
den was slacking around with derrick and hasan.

cos the very nice guy des offered to come and pick mi up at clementi.
den went to my hse to grab some clothes.
before going to yew tee to pick jason and jiahui up.
and we had to go yishun to pick jieming up.
den went to amk to pick toylyn up.
and we went to bridport ave.
it was serangoon's area.
and we kinda got lost a little.
all thanks to jieming.
hahhah.

and we finally reached zhi xuan's hse.
oh ya. forget to mention abt smth.
tis is actually jason's jc class xmas celebration.
and he invited mi and des to join.
tad's y we went.
jason insisted tad i have to go. HAHA!
and just so happened sarah cant make it for the karma gang stayover.
so we cancelled it.
and tad's y i could join.

when i reached there, they were alr in the process of bbq.
den jason was like introducing everyone to me.
den we played card games.
and i realised jason dunno how to play bridge.
and we counted down to x'mas.
had some sparkling juice.
it's juice not wine.
hahahha.
heard tad their class quite guai one.
den had x'mas gift exchange.
i didnt participate.
cos i last min den decided to join them.
so i didnt have time to prepare any gifts.

and we started playing mass games.
first we played charades.
kinda funni.
and jason & hock kiat were damn pro la.
so the girls were kinda losing.
and jieming damn gd at acting.
it was a girls vs guys game.
and there were more guys.
after tad, we played mafia.
and somehow i kept playing the role of mafia for a few rounds.
it was nice.
cos if it's the civilian, it will be quite boring.
hahaha.

den we played a different kind of heart attack.
it's similar to the heart attack where we have to pass the cards to d person beside us.
but if u win, u can choose to play your hands anywhere.
can be on other ppl body parts.
so it was damn funni.
and we created quite a din.
cos there was tis old man who came and scolded us for being too noisy.
so we changed another game.
played the game where we have to pass a msg.
but it's through actions.
and most of them were damn shag by then.
cos it's alr around 5 i think.

so went to zx's room to slack around.
watched some random videos.
and it kinda became OTOT.
some were slping.
some were stoning.
then d girls decided to cook some food.
den mi and some others were chatting.
den i found an entertainment.
i went to play jm's phone.
it's N97 MINI leh.
damn cool phone.
but i think the white one is nicer.

we went off around 7am.
everyone was shag by then.
but i wasnt tad tired la.
cos i'm kinda used to slping late alr.
it was fun.
getting to noe more ppl.
and playing games tad i've not played with other grps of ppl.
cos uni grp games usually r those games tad got to do with alcohol.
more of drinking games.
but tis time, it's more of using the brain game and acting games.
so kinda fun too!
and thanks des for driving mi home.
it's such a nice day tad day cos i dont have to be the driver.
first, hasan drove mi to clementi.
from there, des drove mi back to my hse and to zx's hse.
den from there, drove mi back home again.
it's realli nice not being the driver.
it realli nice being driven around. hahahah!
tis realli shows i've been driving around quite often ah.
and driving ppl around quite often too.


it's sat alr.
clubbing later tonite???
when's the last time i went clubbing?
i totally cant remember.
and it realli shows how long i haven been clubbing.
i've lost the clubbing mood long ago.
i'm no longer into it anymore.
even if i do go next time, it would be cos of the company and not tad i wan to go.
i would rather go pub/bar.
cos i like drinking more i guess.
nice atmosphere to chill too unlike clubbing.
loud music, packed dancing floor.
and i dislike crowded places.
to go or not to go?

rained @ 2:33 AM